please, lie to me

Kemarin aku dan xapi chatting via ym. She told me that she's sorry for all the things she put me through. Dan dia bilang aku membingungkan, hahaha. Bahwa sudah terjadi kesalahpahaman di poin-poin krusial yang membuat kami akhirnya di sini, she loves another woman and I end up (still) alone.
Sejujurnya, masih sakit juga saat xapi bilang that she loves her woman, yesterday. Keinginan bersamanya bagi xapi sepertinya jauh dari rasa xapi padaku. Bahwa xapi sampai ingin lari bersamanya, it was anything beyond my imagination bout xapis relationship with her. Kalo aku tidak salah dengar, sekitar sebulan sebelum xapi menikah xapi bilang padaku kalo dia sayang sama dia tapi tidak cinta. Well, kadang kita memang larut dalam permainan kita sendiri, mungkin itu terjadi pada xapi dalam permainannya tentang hati.

I used to wonder, did xapi really ever to love me ? But sometimes its better just left unsaid. Some things are better left unanswered. But she answered it, though. Though its not a clear answer.

And sometimes I do hope that she will lie to me, telling me that she's still in love with me (if she ever to in love with me). Please, lie to me...

But, now, I know no matter what she do (lie or no lie) I will still feel the pain. That somehow it won't mend the ache.

And she's really not coming back, n1n. Not xapi not even aya. Do your things...its time.